Skip to main content

Forever Changed

 



‘Forever Changed’

 

1:50 pm, January 5, 2021 … “You Have Cancer. Liver Cancer”

 

And with those words, my life is forever changed.

 

The doctor kept on talking. I know that he did. I heard his voice. But I didn’t hear a word that he said.

 

I didn’t hear him say …

“You’re lucky. We caught it early.”

“We caught this before you developed symptoms. Before you got sick.”

“Continue doing what you are doing. It seems to be working.”

“Stay positive.”

“We’ll get you into ‘the Centre’ as soon as we can.”

“There are excellent treatment options.”

“Your prognosis is good.”

 

Instead I heard the word “cancer” and everything went dark.

 

I had to sit down as his voice droned on.

I could see my family crying at my funeral. I sensed their sadness. I felt their loss.  

I understood their disappointment. 

I sank into my own darkness until it enveloped me. 

 

I wanted to cry. I felt like I should. But I couldn’t.

My body went numb.  All that I had were my thoughts.

 

I thought about my kids becoming the head of the family long before their time. 

I thought about my Grandkids and about how much they still needed me; about how much I still needed them.

I thought about my husband and the loss and the loneliness that he’d know yet again. 

I thought about quilts not finished; quilts still growing in my head; quilts yet to be started; quilts with so much left to say! 

I thought about daffodils and new gardens and walks by the water and the sun on snow and the birds at my feeder … and slowly I became aware of my doctor’s voice … 

 

I heard him say …

“You’re lucky. We caught it early.”

“We caught this before you developed symptoms. Before you got sick.”

“Continue doing what you are doing. It seems to be working.”

“Stay positive.”

“We’ll get you into ‘the Centre’ as soon as we can.”

“There are excellent treatment options.”

“Your prognosis is good.”

 

And with those words, my life is forever changed.



*NOTE:

Green is the colour associated with Liver Cancer.

The paint will have a matte finish once it is dry.





 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Home is Where Your Heart Is

  Home is Where Your Heart Is

Recent Newspaper Article

Bill Stearman has discovered the power of quilting FIONA CAMPBELL QUINTE ARTS COUNCIL For our most recent Umbrella magazine, the Quinte Arts Council dedicated the winter issue to celebrating the Art of Craft and how the lines between the two often blur in innovative and exciting ways. We profiled 12 Quinte-based craftspeople who express their art through their craft; the ninth in this series is Bill Stearman in Picton. Bill Stearman struggled with storytelling as a way to make sense of his life for many years. And then he discovered his voice in quilt making. In March of 2014, he had a serious leg injury that left him in significant pain and medication that “killed his brain.” So he threw away the pain meds and sought another solution. “I have no idea where the notion came from, but I decided to try quilt making as a way to deal with the pain. I bought a $100 sewing machine, ordered some fabric online, found a few YouTube videos, and started to make a quilt,” says Stearman. “What I qui

‘The Part Where I Tell a Story That Used to be a Secret’ … Wind & Water Writing Contest Entry … and now a quilt

This quilt is a response to a story that I used to keep secret … and a QR Code that will take you to the YouTube video by Choir! Choir! Choir! And Milck. This recording of the song, ‘Quiet’, gave me the courage to tell my story. The story below was shortlisted as one of five finalists in the Wind & Water Writing Contest (Fiction/Non-fiction). The Part Where I Tell a Story That Used to be a Secret The summer before I started Grade Six my mother finally agreed to let me take bagpipe lessons.  I’d wanted to do that for a long time, but my father said that I’d just lose interest and it would be yet another thing that I started and didn’t stick with. I was sure that he was wrong.   I loved the sound of bagpipes, and I had a fascination with men wearing kilts. I imagined that wearing a kilt felt much like it did to wear my sister’s skirts when we played dress up; all elegant and swishing around my legs as I walked. And, I could wear a kilt for real; not just for dress up. So, on Tuesday